The Letter of Evelyn#8

by Remedios Dorio


“I really need help, Mama.” Evelyn with tears again asked help from her parents.

“Evelyn, what had you done to yourself? Had you not realized that what you are doing is wrong?” Teresa had tears as she pities her daughter, who was a picture of a junkie, skinny like a skeleton.

“Mama, I want to change my life and I need help. Only you and Papa can help me, please help me.” Evelyn wept.

Teresa looked at her husband. Carlos said no words.

“Carlos, please our daughter needs help. Give our baby a chance, please.” Teresa pleaded to her husband.

“Papa, please, give me a second chance, please.” Evelyn begged her father.

Carlos pauses for a thought. Yes, he was angry with her daughter, but to all what Evelyn had done, the reality was there, he loves Evelyn his only child.

“I will help you, only if you agree to rehabilitate yourself.” Carlos said to Evelyn.

“Yes, Papa, yes! I will do all you want, just please help me.” Evelyn answered her father.

“Teresa, let her have a meal. After that we will have a good talk with your daughter.”

“Thank you, Papa! Thank you!” Evelyn hugged her father.

And so, I returned to my parents. They put me in a rehabilitation clinic to help me kick out my addiction with meth. It takes a long time, and it was so hard, but I tried my best.

Because of the drugs I was stamped hard to the ground. Inside the institution I thought a lot about my life. About my parents who despite everything I had done accepted me back. They really loved me as their child. I thought about Nelson, the man who became my husband. He never had done wrong to me. He was a good husband and human being. No doubt that he really loves me. He only dreamed to have a family and a child, and I destroyed that dream of him. I thought about Sonny, my son. A little human being that never had a cuddle, a kiss, a love from his mother. He vanished from the face of earth without knowing the love of a woman that brings him into this world. I regretted but too late. If I cared Sonny, maybe he was still alive, oh, Dr. Edgar Montero, how can I had done it. The burden of guilt made me crazy that I burst to tears that the people around me could not understand as they see no reason at all for such out bursting. I thought about John Mar, my first love. He forsook me because my family became poor. I thought about Roy, the second man I fall in love and crazy about, but he brought me the poison Meth. He physically abused and pushed me away and takes Amalia for my place; my best friend, imagined my best friend.

My parents always visited me in the rehabilitation clinic. Proudly I can say to you, Dr. Edgar Montero, I did good in rehabilitating myself, of course with the guidance of the people in the clinic. One time, my parents asked me if I find it good that Nelson will visit me; I ask my parents why, why Nelson want to visit me, my father just simply answered that Nelson is still my husband, whether I like it or not.    

When Nelson requested or asked if he could visit me in the rehabilitation clinic, I wondered why. When my parents asked it me if it is okay, I said why not. I had done many wrongs to Nelson, and I want that he forgives me, to give me a peace of mind. I decided to make everything in my life clean, to start anew, I want a fresh beginning.

Nelson came to the clinic with a bouquet of white roses. I was touched. The man I forsaken, treated like a rag gave me a feeling that I am somebody. He has full respect on me, full of care, full of worries, and if I am not mistaken, still full of love to me.

“I know you love white roses, and these white roses are for you.” Nelson said as he handed the bouquet of white roses to Evelyn.

“Thank you, they are very lovely!” Evelyn was glad, happy to receive flowers.

“You look good, is everything here, okay?”

“Yes, the people here are friendly and caring. They are good to me.”

“I am happy for you.”

“How are you? Is everything okay with you?” Evelyn asked Nelson. The simple question of Evelyn also touched the heart of Nelson. It is the first time that Evelyn asked about who he was.

“I am also okay.” Nelson answered his wife with a composed smile.

“Nelson, I am glad you come to visit me. I never expect you want to see me again after what I did to you and to our son.” Evelyn voice was broken. She really meant what she said to her husband.

“Evelyn, I will admit it. I was extremely disappointed with you; and angry when you refused even to see our dying son. But I cannot stay angry forever, I cannot stay bitter forever, we are only humans, sometimes we made mistakes not knowing what it will brings to us.” Nelson said to Evelyn his voice was also broken.

“I was a bad wife; I was a bad mother.” Evelyn tears rolled down her cheek.

“Evelyn.” Nelson holds the hands of his wife and pressed it. “Let past be bygones. You cannot always live in the past; you have to think about the future.”

“Nelson, please, say you forgive me.” Evelyn looked at Nelson with her teary melancholic eyes begging for forgiveness.

“Evelyn, I already had forgiven you. If I had not forgiven you, I wouldn't have come here. Not only that I had forgiven you, but I also still love you.” Nelson words soothed Evelyn’s heart and mind, at the same time giving her a kind of feeling, how small she was compared to Nelson. The gallantry of a real man, the real gallantry, not the one she had thought over Roy.

“Can I hug you?” Evelyn asked her husband if she can hug him, the request that Nelson with much appreciation and gladness accepted.

And they both hug each other. They both cried.

Nelson stayed for a while in the clinic. He requested something from his wife, which Evelyn did not expect.

“If you like, if you come out from this clinic, I wish you go home to our house.”

Evelyn looked at Nelson.

“You mean, you mean you want me back in your life?” Evelyn was in disbelief.

“We are still married to each other. We are still husband and wife. But I am not forcing you, you can come home only if you like.”

“I have many thoughts, and one of them is that if I only be given a chance, I will do my all best to make it for you. Nelson, I could be pregnant again, I could give you again a child you want, and this time I will be a different person, I will be a good wife for you, I will be a good mother.” Evelyn expressed her wishes to Nelson.

“Yes, Evelyn. When you come home, we will have a fresh start. You are right, we can have again a child. And I believe you, that you will be a different person as you said. I believe you.”

The first visit of Nelson to me in the clinic promised a very bright future to both of us. Like my parents, he always came to visit me, and I enjoyed his company, yes, Dr. Edgar Montero, I am falling in love to my husband.

Life is smiling again at me. For almost one year in the clinic, I am fully clean from meth; my relationship with my parents was good and so with Nelson.

When the big day came, that I am to be discharged from the clinic, excited and happy I wait for Nelson who will take me home, to our home, but I started to worry because he was late not usual for him. My parent came and they were the one who will bring me home.

“Why I must come with you, Nelson is coming.” Evelyn said to her parents when they told her that they were the one to bring her home.

“Nelson is not coming?” Evelyn could not understand.

“Evelyn, you will know everything when we are home.”

I could not understand it. I began to worry. Why did Nelson do not come to bring me home? Did he change his mind? Does he want me no more? Why? My parents brought me home to their house. And there I know why Nelson did not come to bring me home.

“Nelson is no more.” Teresa the mother of Evelyn said to her daughter. Evelyn looked at her mother. She could not understand what she said.

“What do you mean, Mama? I could not understand. Nelson is no more, what do you mean by that?”

“Nelson is gone!” Teresa does not know how to say to Evelyn what she wanted to tell her.

“Gone? Where?”

“Nelson is dead!”

“Nelson is dead?” Evelyn repeated what her mother said. She could not believe what she heard.

“I am telling you the truth; Nelson is dead!” Teresa had tears in her eyes.

“Mama, which is not true. Papa, please say it is not true. Nelson could not be dead.” Evelyn looked at her mother and then her father.

“I am sorry, Evelyn. Your mother is telling the truth. Nelson is gone. Nelson is dead.” Carlos answered Evelyn with a sad voice. ****to be continued****